How to Compete Online With a Personal Brand

Spoiler Alert: You Don’t Have to Have it All Figured Out Because No One Actually Does

A few days ago, I went down the trap of doom scrolling and stopped on a perfect picture of my friend from childhood. This was the girl I used to compare myself to as a teenager — and she only seemed to be getting more and more perfect. This particular picture was of her smiling with her perfectly white teeth, flawless skin, adorable Pinterest-worthy outfit, and all at the ideal weight (the one I can never seem to reach no matter how hard I work out, especially this time of year when my kid’s Halloween candy is only ten steps away from my home office and Starbucks brings back the sugar plum cheese danish). 

I scrolled through, thinking, “Ugh, good for you, lady, but you make me legit jealous with just how perfect you are!” But then I read the caption, and my me-focused thoughts stopped right in their tracks. To paraphrase, it went something like this:

I used to think I could handle everything on my own but ended up filling the emptiness with things that only brought more pain. I’d mask everything with alcohol, one-sided friendships, and a cycle of people-pleasing all while my marriage was crumbling. I was exhausted and plagued by panic attacks. It wasn’t until I surrendered it all at God’s feet that I felt something shift. I’m now focused on a path of healing, peace, and realignment.

The Internet plays tricks on our mindset at times, doesn’t it?

We resist hitting publish because we don’t have the perfect words. 

We resist sharing our stories because of the pain we’ve experienced without realizing how much others feel similar pains and need to hear that they’re not alone.

We resist showing up fully as ourselves because the Internet has taught us that everyone else is perfect and we’re the only ones who feel pain, struggle and live in a dumpster fire of emotion.

The reality is that we’re more alike than we realize, and building a brand requires that we allow our readers to feel that same freedom of similarity.

The deeper reality is that the world needs to hear our story — warts and all. 

But (and isn’t there always a but when it comes to putting yourself out there), you can show up vulnerably and inspire others through imperfections while still showing up intentionally and with boundaries firmly in place. 

I’m starting to show up more vulnerably here as I shift away from hiding behind a brand name and lean into personal branding. That shift in messaging and openness about my life has to be padded by a few bumper lanes as this bowling ball (me) makes its way down the lane. 

I used to want to be unapologetically ME and give the middle finger to everyone who pushes back online. That point of not giving any more fs felt like the pinnacle of success in the personal branding world. 

But the reality is, that’s a painful way to show up. It might feel liberating on the surface and like a rallying cry to attract more freedom-seekers, but the truth is, it’s lonely. 

Building a personal brand doesn’t happen by accident. It takes a plan. Here is mine.  

I want to show up only as confidently as I feel and as vulnerably as I want to be

I want to share the hard lessons learned along the way, and that’s the vibe people expect from newsletters like this one. 

I want to let you further into my world and talk to you like we’re sharing stories over a cup of straight bean juice (no creamer or sugar for me, thank you very much). 

I want to feel relevant and even a little bit intriguing, but I also want you to look at my picture and know that I sometimes struggle to feel comfortable in my skin.

I want to work with people several steps ahead of me and breathe in their success.

I want to share my story while sharing my home office with my kids, who are starting to homeschool and growing alongside me.

I want to be a bit bougie and wear nicer clothes, but I also want to snuggle up in fluffy sweaters and stay comfortable in stretchier pants. I usually end up doing the latter (because #comfort).

So, cheers!

If you’re looking for a way to show up more intentionally and with more vulnerability online without having it all figured out, you’re in the right place. That’s the balance I want to strike here for you…

…, and I plan to relish every glorious minute while I roll down the lane, knocking down every goal pin I can.